Create a Happy Life by Setting Healthy Boundaries

People can easily tell when they are not meant to be in a building or an event because there are clear physical signs to put them in their place. However, the "sign" isn't as obvious when it comes to personal boundaries because it is an invisible fence that some people may cross due to either cluelessness or disrespect. Depending on their reason, you can determine who deserves a seat at your table and you'll be able to create a genuinely healthier environment around you.

Setting healthy boundaries will help you create a happier life in more ways than one. Other than filtering the quality of your connections, you are also able to live comfortably and safely from things that don't serve your goals and values.

Why Do You Need to Set Boundaries?

Setting boundaries helps you take control over your physical, mental, and emotional space. There is a limit to what you can handle or tolerate when it comes to your comfort and boundaries will communicate where that line is.

Here are some reasons why you should set boundaries:

To Improve Your Relationships 

Setting boundaries will protect you from unsafe relationships. It can also prevent your existing relationships from being toxic. 

To Improve Your Self-Esteem

You should be your priority. It is not selfish to take care of yourself. Setting boundaries will help you put yourself first. It will help you feel comfortable with self-care and your choices. It will also let you boost your self-worth.

To Conserve Your Energy

Setting boundaries will help you preserve your emotional energy. Instead of building resentment toward everyone who crosses your invisible fence, you're able to determine who can respect your space and who doesn't care about what you feel. Of course, you would need to let go of some people so that you can protect your energy and space.

To Break Down Walls

You can't grow if you box yourself up in fear of getting hurt by the people around you. You can't build true connections with other people if you have built a wall or if you've hardened yourself to emotions. Setting boundaries will allow you to be vulnerable to people you've learned that you can trust.

Getting Started: Setting Boundaries for a Happy Life

Here are the things you need to consider when setting healthy boundaries:

Think of the main point the boundaries you are setting.

Different aspects make up your life, you may be unsure where you need to set boundaries.

For instance, if you are running a business-- you may feel like you don't get any time for yourself anymore because you take care of your business even during your personal time. Your clients would message you even after your business hours and you feel like you have to respond. Your business should feel aligned with you and it should not make you uncomfortable. Your business should work for you not the other way around. Setting boundaries will help you take back your personal time and bring back the joy of running your business.

So ask yourself and reflect on what you want to accomplish by setting boundaries.

Consider your values when setting your boundaries.

Looking at what you value most will help you determine what kind of boundaries you should be setting. For instance, you value your time for your family so you may want to set a boundary with your friends when it comes to inviting you to events that coincide with family gatherings. Or you can help yourself feel comfortable about not doing work while you are with your family.

Understanding your values and aligning them with your boundaries will help you prioritize the things that bring you contentment and happiness.

Consider that different types of relationships need different sets of boundaries.

Your boundaries will not be the same for everyone and that's okay. Don't feel guilty if you are comfortable with listening to your best friend's family problems while also feeling uncomfortable with listening to your date's rants about their family after only meeting them for the second time.

Your boundaries can be flexible or inflexible depending on your relationship with a person and that's completely normal! The only thing that matters is acknowledging the difference and communicating your boundaries. Anyone who isn't willing to respect your boundaries does not deserve your time.

Even boundaries take practice.

Setting boundaries and implementing them in your life takes practice-- not only for you but also for the people around you.

If you are so used to putting everything else before yourself, then setting boundaries and voicing them out will take some practice. You may feel anxious at first, and you may find your mind asking "Is this really okay? What if they hate me for this?" 

You need to calm your mind and listen to your heart. Your mind is afraid of the unfamiliar. But you need to remind yourself that people who truly care for you will understand and respect your boundaries regardless if they are your family, friends, or clients. If you know in your heart that you need to upgrade your life and that setting boundaries will help you achieve this-- then go for it.

Make sure to speak up.

Once you know which aspects of your life can improve from boundaries, you need to respectfully express them when the situation calls for it.

You don't need to announce your boundaries all at once. Know them by heart and speak up whenever the situation calls for it. Speaking up can come in the form of correcting someone or expressing your discomfort with a person's behavior.

As mentioned previously, it may take some practice before you and the people around you can get used to the boundaries. You may need to express yourself a few more times before the habit solidifies. However, be mindful of the people who are actually making the effort and the people who do not care at all.

Keep in mind that when you upgrade your life, some people don't upgrade with you. It is okay to let go of relationships that are not healthy anymore.

The Key Takeaway

Upgrading your life and happiness also means upgrading your relationships and your environment. You indeed need to step out of your comfort zone if you want to grow, but that does not mean allowing yourself to be uncomfortable because of people who are crossing your lines.

People who are used to a passive version of you may get upset when you suddenly set boundaries. These people may even continue to disrespect your boundaries after you've voiced them out. In this case, you need to put yourself first and move on from those relationships. You will then find true friendships, healthier relationships, and a happier life.

Setting boundaries is an important step for you to live a life where you feel safe to be you. It doesn't matter if it's your family, friend, partner, or clients-- you need people who respect the boundaries that you've set. If you are looking for a safe space to build your network, you can find amazing people in Zero to CEO. 

Be a part of a community that will help shape you into more than just an entrepreneur-- be the digital CEO that you know that you are! Share your wins, goals, and ask for advice in the community.